First ask about her background and how she became a doula. Certification and training are not required to call yourself a doula, so this answer will very greatly from person to person. For me personally, confidence in herself and her training speaks volumes over the number of births attended, or the status of her certification. Continuing education is a huge bonus in my eyes as well. New studies, support measures, and birth options emerge all the time. If a doula isn't staying on top of the latest information, she is doing herself a huge disservice.
Asking your doula to share her experience with your care provider or at your birthing location can open your eyes. Doulas usually love to talk about birth, but are careful about how they share details because of confidentiality. Body language will tell you a lot about how she truly feels about working with your provider. There are a few local providers that when their name gets mentioned, my eyes light up. I know them well, how they work, and their respect of a woman's choices. There are others who I may have to pause to think of a positive experience to share. This may tell you something about your provider, but it could also speak to the professionalism of your doula. Only you can decide which.
Your doula will see you in one of your most intimate and vulnerable places. You will have left your social self, and ability to reason behind you. She will see your raw emotions, your strength, and yes, she will see you naked. You have to be comfortable with that. Most people aren't comfortable bearing all to just anyone. You really have to consider if your doula seeing you in this state is something you can live with. This may mean that you aren't comfortable with your casual acquaintance being your doula, and that's okay. She'll understand that for you, your intimate self is not something you want to share with her. It may also mean that your close friend who happens to be a doula is a perfect fit, because you couldn't imagine your nakedness being on display to someone you've spent mere hours with. That's okay too.
Lastly, how a doula approaches your postpartum self is an important consideration. The postpartum period is filled with ups and downs. Every minute of everyday is a roller coaster of emotions. The strong fluctuation of hormones mixed with extreme sleep deprivation is a recipe for a mental health disaster. Knowing that your doula is still there for you following your birth, even at 2 am when your world is crashing down is an amazing relief. Even if you don't ever call her in the middle of the night, knowing that you can if you need to can take some major stress off of your shoulders. I don't mind the 3 am calls, if that is what a mom needs to feel supported. My care doesn't end the moment I leave your birth.
When leaving an interview, take a few moments and picture your birth with that doula. If suddenly you can't picture laboring without her, you've found your match. If it isn't crystal clear, take the time to interview a few others and reflect. If a doula is excited about working with you, she'll touch base after an interview. It may be a quick email, a phone call to check in, or a handwritten thank you note, but she will make it clear to you that she felt a connection and hopes you did as well.
Alecia Miller, CD
This post is another installment of the World Doula Week Blog Challenge. I'm honor to be participating in this challenge, and hope you take a moment to check the work of the others joining me. Click the photo below to see what they have created this week.