I will always say that most of my work is done prenatally. We spend time talking about birthing options, comfort measures, and how to have the best birth team on your side. All of these will help you get your birth, your way. So it is no surprise that the keys to buying time in the labor room is also done prenatally.
The first secret is to ask for special permission from your care provider for things that are important to you, but may not be the hospital standard. So how does this work to buy you time? The nurse is probably going to want to call your provider to get clarification if special permission was actually given. This plays into your favor because nurses are busy and getting the time to call for something that isn't urgent can take a bit of time. Then, once they call the office, your provider is probably with another patient and she will leave a message. By the time the provider looks at your chart, calls the nurse back, and she gets the message, you've bought yourself a few hours with the blessing of your care provider. This works incredibly well when you have an open minded care provider and a nurse trying to follow a strict hospital policy.
Another great tool for success in the labor room is to never have to say no. When an intervention is offered that you are not interested in, there is a better response that doesn't shove the word, “NO!” in the nurses face. This can and probably will be repeated many times by both mom and her partner, but it really works to keep the ball in nurse's court.
“She (I) really would like an intervention free birth, is there something else we can try first?”
Here's why it works. The nurse isn't being told no, and her suggestion isn't being overlooked as an option. This plays into the idea that the nurse is still making medical choices that she feels is best for the situation. It also makes her pause and really think if she has another viable option for the circumstance before resulting to an intervention. Nurses are amazing tools for a natural labor when utilized as such. By getting on a nurse's good side and showing her that you truly trust her knowledge, a respective relationship has been formed. She is more likely dig deep to help get you the birth of your dreams, because she knows you respect her opinion.
Having a supportive birth team is important, and most of your team, you've hand picked so you know they are on your side. The one wild card that is up to luck of the draw is the nursing staff. Having these tools can get them on your team, rooting for you, and sharing your vision can help you reach your birth ideals. Nurses want their patients to be happy, so extending the olive branch and welcoming them into your birth is a win for everyone.
Alecia Miller, CD
Breaking Birth Barriers