I knew I wanted a big family for as long as I can remember. I always pictured myself with 4 kids, 2 boys and 2 girls, and all really close in age. Fast forward a few years and there are scary words being thrown my way. Endometriosis, polycystic ovarian syndrome, and pelvic floor dysfunction to name a few. Those are not words your average 20 something who is about to get married and start a family wants to hear. Then the big one, infertility gets thrown out. Talk about a blow to your ego.
We had a plan though, we were 3 months away from our wedding and ready to give it a try. So we grabbed a few books on fertility and charting and thought we'd have it all figured out in those 3 months. So I took my temperature, checked for cervical mucus, and tried for the life of me to find my cervix everyday. Then I took all this information and put it into a handy chart that showed I wasn't ovulating. Yikes! You can't get pregnant if you don't ovulate, it just doesn't work that way.
So there we were, 4 months into our marriage (and 7 months into charting) at the ob-gyn begging for advice. He makes it sound so simple. First I take a pill to induce a period, then I take a pill to form a follicle, then about a million ultrasounds to make sure things are working, then I get a shot to induce ovulation, then we make a baby. Only that didn't happen. At all. The first cycle the follicles never formed so we upped the dosage on the medication. That helped, we had a follicle, got the shot, did our part, BUT still no baby. Then another cycle, then another. 6 months of this and doctor signed off. He had done all he could do and I needed to see someone more advanced. I was devastated.
So we make an appointment at the fertility clinic. The doctor says it is time for shots, lots and lots of shots. Very expensive shots. We just aren't ready for that step. So we wait. My cycles get worse. Sometimes I bleed for weeks on end, sometimes I go months without periods. My body is a mess, and I don't know where to turn. So I give up. I settle for not having children and live my life.
Fast forward nearly 3 years, I have what seems to be terrible flu. I end up in the ER, unable to empty my bladder no matter how much water I try to drink. I spend 30 minutes explaining to everyone how I'm not pregnant, I couldn't possible be pregnant. It has been months since I had a period, but I peed on a stick last week. (and the week before that, and the week before that, and the week before that...) It just couldn't be. They take a lot of blood, they finally get some urine. They run some tests and give me lots of fluids. I'm annoyed, I just want to be home.
It has been HOURS and no one has been in the room. Finally a nurse swings in to ask if the doctor has been in. I say no, but I want to go home. I've been vomiting despite the nausea medication, it must just be a stomach virus, right? She says to wait for the doctor to fill me in. Great, I'm dying. WebMD seems to support this theory as well.
So finally, the doctor comes in. He says, “You aren't going to believe me, but you're pregnant. We have an ultrasound tech on her way, as we have no idea how far along you might be.”
I cry, I feel like this all a sick joke. There is no way I'm pregnant, I don't ovulate, how can I be pregnant? In comes the tech, she puts the warm jelly on my belly and right away there's a heartbeat. The sound wasn't supposed to be on, but she let it go. She took some measurements, 8.5 weeks along. Insanity. I still don't believe it. But there it is, a little peanut there on the screen, a baby. My baby.
It actually happened, I was pregnant. We called our parents and our siblings. We wanted to tell the world, but it wasn't safe. I had to tell work though, I was so ill and they needed to know why. Morning sickness was almost over by now though right? Ha! If only that were the case, but we'll save that story for later. I was pregnant and that is all the mattered. There was still hope for me, I might just get my dream.
Breaking Birth Barriers doesn't only serve pregnant mothers. I work with women who are trying to conceive as well. Having lived the life of trying to conceive with both primary and secondary infertility, being a resource for those who need support through that trying time is near and dear to my heart. No matter what stage of childbearing you are in, Breaking Birth Barriers has support for you.
Alecia Miller, CD
Breaking Birth Barriers
We had a plan though, we were 3 months away from our wedding and ready to give it a try. So we grabbed a few books on fertility and charting and thought we'd have it all figured out in those 3 months. So I took my temperature, checked for cervical mucus, and tried for the life of me to find my cervix everyday. Then I took all this information and put it into a handy chart that showed I wasn't ovulating. Yikes! You can't get pregnant if you don't ovulate, it just doesn't work that way.
So there we were, 4 months into our marriage (and 7 months into charting) at the ob-gyn begging for advice. He makes it sound so simple. First I take a pill to induce a period, then I take a pill to form a follicle, then about a million ultrasounds to make sure things are working, then I get a shot to induce ovulation, then we make a baby. Only that didn't happen. At all. The first cycle the follicles never formed so we upped the dosage on the medication. That helped, we had a follicle, got the shot, did our part, BUT still no baby. Then another cycle, then another. 6 months of this and doctor signed off. He had done all he could do and I needed to see someone more advanced. I was devastated.
So we make an appointment at the fertility clinic. The doctor says it is time for shots, lots and lots of shots. Very expensive shots. We just aren't ready for that step. So we wait. My cycles get worse. Sometimes I bleed for weeks on end, sometimes I go months without periods. My body is a mess, and I don't know where to turn. So I give up. I settle for not having children and live my life.
Fast forward nearly 3 years, I have what seems to be terrible flu. I end up in the ER, unable to empty my bladder no matter how much water I try to drink. I spend 30 minutes explaining to everyone how I'm not pregnant, I couldn't possible be pregnant. It has been months since I had a period, but I peed on a stick last week. (and the week before that, and the week before that, and the week before that...) It just couldn't be. They take a lot of blood, they finally get some urine. They run some tests and give me lots of fluids. I'm annoyed, I just want to be home.
It has been HOURS and no one has been in the room. Finally a nurse swings in to ask if the doctor has been in. I say no, but I want to go home. I've been vomiting despite the nausea medication, it must just be a stomach virus, right? She says to wait for the doctor to fill me in. Great, I'm dying. WebMD seems to support this theory as well.
So finally, the doctor comes in. He says, “You aren't going to believe me, but you're pregnant. We have an ultrasound tech on her way, as we have no idea how far along you might be.”
I cry, I feel like this all a sick joke. There is no way I'm pregnant, I don't ovulate, how can I be pregnant? In comes the tech, she puts the warm jelly on my belly and right away there's a heartbeat. The sound wasn't supposed to be on, but she let it go. She took some measurements, 8.5 weeks along. Insanity. I still don't believe it. But there it is, a little peanut there on the screen, a baby. My baby.
It actually happened, I was pregnant. We called our parents and our siblings. We wanted to tell the world, but it wasn't safe. I had to tell work though, I was so ill and they needed to know why. Morning sickness was almost over by now though right? Ha! If only that were the case, but we'll save that story for later. I was pregnant and that is all the mattered. There was still hope for me, I might just get my dream.
Breaking Birth Barriers doesn't only serve pregnant mothers. I work with women who are trying to conceive as well. Having lived the life of trying to conceive with both primary and secondary infertility, being a resource for those who need support through that trying time is near and dear to my heart. No matter what stage of childbearing you are in, Breaking Birth Barriers has support for you.
Alecia Miller, CD
Breaking Birth Barriers